Pushing the self as hard as possible, without pushing everybody else, is the most valuable art. Comfortable people hurt no one. Loudly struggling people hurt everyone. Silently struggling people help everyone but themself.
The root of evil is said to be money; just as sure, the root of happiness must be sexual satisfaction. As children, we delight in our crushes. As young adults, we grow strong and dare to move away from our parents, for less certain horizons. From the beginning of a social life, sexual need is an utmost priority, regardless of how well we accept it. Sex is not just a necessity for society, for nature, it is a necessity for the individual. The lack of this nutrient is the source of lust that spews forth uncontrollably in selfish, heavy, burdening acts. People without true satisfaction sprout narcissism in all its ugliest forms. Conversely: the pleasure of a healthy flirt, with good timing, is always true happiness. Do not hide your needs from the world, letting them fester into a source of pain!
It is not as though there is no value to reservation of feelings. Nor may I say with a clean conscience that maximizing sexual pleasure is quite right. What I can assert, with an idea simple enough to be independently verified, is that all of the animal world naturally experiences sexual need, and that refraining from those needs beyond the limits afforded by nature is a grim path. The worst days are when there is no one to talk to: no one to share joy with, or to accept our flaws, or to share our latest readings with. On these days, the chance of sexual stimulation is nil, and the body grows weary. As little as a strange smile while walking across the street is a source of happy connection! In these moments, we know that we are desirable, lovable, and have some chance of happiness.
This did not come to me for free. It cost me a best friend (as sexually frustrated as I), a Summer worth of peace, years of confusion, and an angry childhood! Read The Awakening by Kate Chopin, and watch Stalker, and you will be guided towards the above conclusion.
Awareness is pain, but awareness is also intelligence. Intelligence is the difference between following rules grimly and treading lightly on the world. Awareness reduces life's structural pain. It comes at the cost of energy and bandwidth. Awareness is measurable by the strength of the two-way connection between reality and the mind. A brain connected to reality, lucid and backed by a happy heart, is worth orders of magnitude more than a disconnected, or unhappy, brain.